Miracle of the last day

Do you believe in miracles? I have seen enough of them in my lifetime to know with certainty that they exist. It always takes my breath away when one comes along and I feel God proclaiming his love for me. It seems to me that they are occurring more often and perhaps that is because time is running out. Who knows, really. I do know that Jack and I just experienced one that cannot be denied.

Because Jack is on commission, we never know what his paycheck will be until the last day of the month. We do know what it takes just to pay the bills. I call it our "have to goal". Jack figured out a daily sales goal of a certain amount each day to achieve his desired target, above and beyond just paying the bills.Working at KIA here in Colorado Springs has provided a challenge each and every month to maintain the status quo, never mind get beyond just paying the bills. There have been months when no money is left for grocieries or gas after the bills are paid. When the days and weeks turn into months and those become a year or more, the struggle to survive can become very discouraging.

 We trusted God two months ago and stepped out in faith to buy a second car so that I could have more freedom to volunteer and work in women's ministry. I was reading Hebrews 11 one day when Jack called to tell me that he had found the right car for only $812. His boss was willing to take it out of three paychecks. We both felt that God had supplied the car and that He would supply the extra funds. So now our "have to goal" has been raised.

It is now the end of December, the worst month for sales in the automotive industry. The end of 2010. It has been a rough year financially but somehow God has provided for our needs. We are four days from the close of the month and Jack has only sold half his targeted amount. I must tell you that I felt tempted to fall into fear. Almost immediately I began to say out loud, "The Lord is my Shepherd, I have everything I need." I praised God for everything He has done for us and thanked Him for providing.

A day went by and then another. I dared not ask about sales. I just kept rejoicing and praising God. Jack was scheduled to be off of work on Friday, the last day of the month as it was New Years Eve and only one person would be working on this short day. Thursday evening when he came home, he told me that he had fallen short of the original "have to goal", never mind the extra money being taken out for the second car. We were both pretty quiet that evening.

On Friday he decided to go into work at the usual time just to close some warranty tickets for an hour or so and I knew that it would help our bottom line. A few hours later Jack called and I could hear the laughter in his voice. "I can't come home just yet, I'm selling like crazy!" Six hours after he went into work to close three warranty tickets, he came home with the news that he had sold twenty five percent of his "have to goal" in one day. A day that he was not supposed to work. He ended the worst month of the year over his goal with fifty percent of it earned in the last four days of the month!

You say that you don't believe in miracles? I do. My life is peppered with them. New Years Day I was fixing some coffee and thinking about how awesome God is with His providence and I felt His whisper in my spirit. "I am teaching you to trust me." If I am being honest, trust is difficult for me. But what if I truly knew that I never have to worry? How fearless would I be? How much more would I be able to teach others about God's faithfulness?

Speaking God's Word

Something wakened me this morning at 1 am and I could not go back to sleep. As is my habit when that happens, I pray over those individuals that God brings to mind, I talk to Him or I contemplate events occurring in my life. This morning it was a little of all three and it strikes me that I need to record what is echoing in my heart as a result.

Yesterday our small group Bible study met as usual and had a birthday celebration lunch for everyone. Much thought and prayer was put into this event, which was evidenced by occurrences both in the physical and spiritual realms. As I was starting the DVD that goes with our study, my dog kicked my chair, just as I sat down. I had to be helped up and today I realize that I was hurt more than I thought. A glass was broken just before we sat down to eat, which was a minor distraction to me but I could see that it triggered something in my friend, who dropped it.

Included in the gift bags for each lady was an inexpensive glass bottle with a stopper. I had partly filled the bottles with some purified water and attached a Bible verse with some ribbon. Simple really. Psalm 56:8, "You number my wanderings; Put my tears into your bottle; Are they not in your book?" The visual of this spiritual truth is powerful. God really cares about our hearts this much! He records our wanderings and our tears.

So its 1 am and I am revisiting the events of this Bible study, celebration and lunch. I am praising God for these ladies, who have no idea how they have touched my heart and blessed me. I am praying over their hearts and thinking about how God brought us all together with common difficulties that we can share and encourage one another through. Then I began to ponder how God's word is so effective for each and every situation in our lives. Verses began to flash across my mind. Psalm 119:11, "I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin againt you." Hebrews 4:12, "For the word of God is sharper than any two edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joint and marrow, and is a discerner of thoughts and intents of the heart." Then it hits me!

Because we are born into this world that is fallen and ruled by the deceiver, there is never a moment that we can expect a cease fire. Not in this world. But don't we often behave as though we expect peace? I think we should reverse our thinking and expect warfare. Expect it every moment of every day. No, the enemy is not out for us 24 x 7. But if it is not the enemy, it is the consequences of sin and poor choices. And if it is not that, it is the result of living in a fallen and cursed world. This is not how we were meant to live but somehow we park here, we are lulled into a sleep state and and we want to stay here.

Here is what I was left with at 1 am this morning. We can never stop speaking God's word. We must meditate on it day and night. We must keep our eyes on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith. We must never stop praising God for what He has done and continues to do. We must prepare for battle each and every day with the putting on of our armor (Eph 6). We must fight, ladies, and never stop! To God be the glory.

Faith Took a Hit

About ten years ago I completely surrendered each and every corner of my heart and life to the will of God. Even though I became a believer in December of 1975, I hung onto many areas out of fear. Fear that God would do something in my life that I would hate. Fear that I would lose something that was dear to me. Just plain fear with some elements of disobedience, mistrust and rebellion thrown in for good measure.

Three weeks after my profound experience I was laid off along with many others in the first wave of the dot com fallout. Strangely enough, I had a sense of peace through those days and a certainty that God was sifting me. It was not a fun experience but something in me had assurance that good would come out of it all.

I cannot tell you how many times since then that life has given me surprises. Some of them wonderful; most of them not so much. I can say that each and every time God showed up in amazing ways. I remember one day as I was going over the bills and pleading with God to help us pay them. Within the next hour or so I heard the mail truck so I went out to collect the mail. One of my supporters had sent a check that almost exactly matched the sum of those bills! Isaiah 65:23-25, "Before they call, I will answer; while they are yet speaking, I will hear." It was only one of God's many powerful manifestations to me.

When Jack was fired from his job last year, I had absolute faith that something great was coming down the pike. Sure enough, in less than a week he was working here in Colorado Springs. God provided an interum place to stay, a vehicle to replace our 1984 Chevy truck, an apartment and a great place to worship.

So when an opportunity to move into a house came up, I knew that God was once again providing. We had been asking God for months for a place with a yard where we could have Bible studies and a place to have guests come and stay. One small fly in the ointment was that we would have to pay rent at two places for the month of August. We (I should say I because Jack is always reluctant to leap off cliffs) believed that somehow God would take care of the financial gap. Oh, and did I mention that we were already stretched to limit?

Well, color me surprised when God did not show up as he always had. I felt so betrayed. We were not able to pay one bill and there was barely enough money to pay both rents and have gas and groceries. There was that temptation to think that we had made a mistake but somehow I knew that this was meant to be.

After a couple of really rough days, I made the determination that I would continue to look to Jesus, the author and finisher of my faith. We borrowed money from my sister so that we did not lose the car insurance and just walked through the days. I swallowed my pride and got food from the Rescue Mission where I volunteer and from Angel Food Ministries. We made every penney count. We continued to pray and to read the Bible together.

Tomorrow Jack gets paid and we will be able to pay the bills once again. It was awful but we survived and in the midst of it all I remembered something. Just before this all happened, I had told God that I wanted him to take me deeper in my faith. Sigh... No miracles this time but somehow I know that it was another sifting.

Yesterday I read an article by Max Lucado entitled, "What if things only get worse" with a focus on Matthew 24:6. He writes, "Jesus chose a stout term for alarmed that he used on no other occasion. It means "to wail, to cry aloud," as if Jesus counseled the disciples, "Don't freak out when bad stuff happens." When bad stuff happens, not if bad stuff happens.

Just for a moment I forgot where I live. Just for a moment I took my eyes off of Jesus. Just for a moment I forgot that I am in Christ, he is in me and he is in the Father. Just for a moment I freaked out. My faith took a hit but I am better now. Stronger somehow. Willing to keep going.

God is faithful even when I am not.

Speak to what is behind

I am fascinated by the words of Jesus, reported in Matthew 16:23 and Mark 8:33 when he rebukes Peter. Jesus was teaching his disciples about his spiritual kingdom and showing them great and mighty things. Everything is going along swimmingly until he reminds them of the cost. "From that time forth began Jesus to show unto His disciples that He must go unto Jerusalem and suffer many things of the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and be raised again the third day." Immediately Peter rebukes Jesus and speaks against the possibility that they could lose their precious Jesus.

Don't we all lose our focus at times? We get so enamored of a moment in time that we begin to focus on our circumstances. We are so focused on our physical surroundings that we ignore the spiritual. Peter was hanging out with Jesus, enjoying the moment and disregarding everything that Jesus was teaching. Note that Jesus did not hesitate to rebuke Peter immediately. "Get thee behind me, Satan!" I always thought that seemed a tad harsh. After all, Peter is becoming one of the most loyal followers of Jesus.

Recently I had an experience with a woman, who came across my path one evening. I wanted to bless her so I invited her for lunch. I was amazed and distressed to find that she only wanted to spew drama and negativity in spite of my efforts to speak God's word and truth over her mind and heart. Not only did she not leave for hours but she returned uninvited and began to call me to continue this behavior.

I reached out to a dear brother in Christ, who explained to me that it was not this woman but demonic activity behind her causing her to spew garbage. He showed me how to speak to what was behind her; to rebuke the enemy in the name of Jesus. What a powerful lesson for me to learn. I now have and encourage other to get the book, Prayers, from Christian Word Ministries in Lexington, Kentucky.

I have been asking God of late to reveal to me more of the spiritual world and to give me more wisdom and discernment in my daily walk. I think this was part of my answer. Now when I read that passage about Peter, I realize that Jesus was not speaking directly to Peter, he was addressing the entity that was behind his words.

This is a beginning of something new in me. This is a new level of warfare and of confidence in my Heavenly Father. I find that I am less reactive now to my circumstances, to people around me and the words they speak. I am looking for what is behind each and every experience. I am also more careful to stay connected to my Heavenly Father and to stay covered with his armor (Ephesians 6). Praise God for growth!

One more piece of the puzzle

Four failed marriages, a fifth that has not been easy and a son, whose marriage came to an abrupt end after only a few months. I certainly understand the difficulties that come with marriage. What I lack are the answers for success. Only time spent in "face in the carpet prayer" with my Heavenly Father has allowed me to be in my twelfth year of this marriage. So what gives?

One of my absolutely favorite authors, John Eldredge of Ransom Heart Ministry, just published a book written with his wife Stasi on this very subject. Love and War, Finding the Marriage You've Dreamed Of. When I was presented with the opportunity to review the book, I jumped at the chance. Literally. That was one package that was eagerly anticipated, let me tell you.

Now normally I can sit down with a book and read the entire book in one sitting. God has given me an amazing capacity for speed reading and absorption. But I could not do that with Love and War. It was too much to digest in one sitting. I had to read a few chapters and then ponder for a while what was being said. I love how, even though I could hear John's and Stasi's voices clearly in their written words, God's voice was the clearest throughout. This book is chock full of scripture and the plan of God for marriage is woven beautifully and clearly throughout each chapter.

I grew up with rules and religion. It has been a paradigm shift to see and to understand that my life here on earth is only about God's heart and His desire for relationship with me along with the battle coming from our enemy. I loved how John and Stasi point out that our Bible begins and ends with a marriage. I knew that my enemy wants to steal kill and destroy me. I just never thought about how the enemy hates my marriage.

Toward the end of the book, John writes this, "Those who want to find God must look where he lives--must love in the same manner, for the same things, for the same reasons. 'God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him' (John 4:16). Every time we choose to love, we take a step closer to God; it is like he is right there. Every time we choose something else, we take a step away. I want God, so I choose love... Then we read the Scriptures telling us to love one another 'as God love us,' and if you had not made the connection yet that trail leads to a crown of thorns."

For me, that summed up the entire message of Love and War. It is about love. We are in a war. Our enemy is real. He is determined. But God. But God loved us so much that He chose the thorns. He chose the sacrifice. And so must we.

This is a huge piece to the puzzle I call life. I am calmer after having read Love and War. More peaceful. I will be reading this book over and over again. I will be getting the video series and pleading with my sweet Jack to make this a priority study. I will be telling everyone that I know to please read this book. I do not believe that there is one marriage that would fail to benefit.

Thank you, John and Stasi Eldredge, for having the courage to be so transparent. For your obedience in speaking God's truth. For wanting others to have what you have found. May God bless you mightily.

The Vortex of Drama, Drama and More Drama

For the first 40 or so years of my life, everything was about the drama. There was always something traumatic happening and it was always someone else or something else that was the cause; never me. When I began the process of healing through professional counseling, the paradigm shift that occurred in me was huge. I had in fact caused my own drama and I remember seeing snakes come through the walls for 4 days when I realized how much I had hurt my son and many, many other people.

Isaiah 61:1-3 remains the core statement of my mission for helping wounded women to heal and to recognize who Almighty God is and how much he desires relationship with each of us. "The Lord God has put his Spirit in me, because the Lord has appointed me to tell the good news to the poor. He has sent me to comfort those whose hearts are broken, to tell the captives they are free, and to tell the prisoners they are released. He has sent me to announce the time when the Lord will show his kindness and the time when our God will punish evil people. He has sent me to comfort all those who are sad and to help the sorrowing people of Jerusalem. I will give them a crown to replace their ashes, and the oil of gladness to replace their sorrow. and clothes of praise to replace their spirit of sadness. Then they will be called Trees of Goodness, trees planted by the Lord to show his greatness." (NCV)

Jesus read these words from Isaiah in Luke 4:18,19 during one of his visits to the synagogue. After he read the passage, he told them that as he was reading the words, the words were coming true. They did not understand who Jesus really was and the ministry he was beginning. He told them that a prophet is not accepted in his own town and talked of Elijah and Elisha and the ministry they had. People were so angry they wanted to throw him off the cliff edging the town but he walked through them and went on his way.

In ministering to women it is always interesting to me how open or closed they are to God's truth. I can usually tell within a few moments which way things will go. Something struck me from the Isaiah passage and I made a note in the margin of my Bible. God gives a crown to replace ashes. He gives oil of gladness to replace sorrow. Finally he gives clothes of praise to replace a spirit of sadness. Do you notice that we are given a choice? We cannot have both. Either we choose the good or the grief.

Over the past 10 years of working with women, it saddens me when they cannot see this choice. The enemy has so wounded them that they "circle the drain" in their vortex of drama. Everything spoken is about how awful life is, thereby perpetuating their woundedness. Proverbs 18:21 is never more true than in this instance. "The tongue has the power of life and death." (NIV) What we speak truly gives life or death to any situation or circumstance.

My mother began to say when she was in her 30's, "Come give your poor, old, decrepit mother a hug." When she died after fighting cancer for 25 years, she was indeed poor, old and decrepit. I just spent time with a woman, who truly could not hear the life giving truth from the Word of God I spoke over her heart. All she wanted was to circle the drain in her vortex of drama and she actually got angry with me for not walking in agreement with her speaking death over herself.

I am so thankful that God did not leave me in my state of unbelief. He not only redeemed me, he restored me. Now everything that I do and say is focused on God's life-giving word. I am truly free indeed. Praise God for his wonderful works to the children of men!

Do you know my Jesus?

Over my sixty years on this earth I have experienced many ways to witness the gospel of Christ. As a preacher's daughter, my early experiences included attempts to go into the neighborhoods around the church and invite people to services. Gospel tracts with titles like, "Are you going to hell?" were often a part of witnessing for Christ. Hell was a big deterrent in sermons and discussions. I remember being scared to death that I would go to hell. I was on the receiving end of this style of evangelism in early adulthood. Well-intentioned individuals, who made attempts to bring me over to their side would often be critical of my lifestyle. Somehow none of this worked for me.

After I came to Christ, I watched from a different perspective. I too wanted the lost people to find Christ. To date I have successfully avoided any attempts to join in with church member efforts of passing out tracts, going on visitations or standing outside busy retail establishments handing out whatever happened to be the gift idea at the time.

In the past couple of years as God has taught me the example of Jesus and His life, I am seeing this part of ministry in a whole new light. In the assuredness of my redemption and the boldness that comes from walking with my Holy Spirit, I have come to recognize freedom in this area. I have begun to see open doors or opportunities to speak truth and life over those who come into my circle of influence. God gives me the words to speak and the boldness to declare truth. It usually come out as, "Do you know my Jesus?"

Because I have declared myself as a "Christ follower", rather than a "Christian", this brings an entirely different level of discussion. Either people have a relationship with God or they don't. Simple, really. Once that relationship or lack therof has been established, I know how to continue the conversation. Then I use God's word to speak truth over their heart, mind and soul.

Whether we realize it or not, we all desire to have relationship with God. To have a connection with this creator of ours and of our world. I see so many wounded hearts at the rescue mission where I volunteer. Their needs are raw, immediate and unfulfilled. Who can resist the words from Psalms 139, "You have examined me and know all about me. You know when I sit down and when I get up. You know my thoughts before I think them. You know where I go and where I lie down. You know everything I do. Lord, even before I say a word, you already know it. You are all around me- in front and in back- and have put your hand on me. Your knowledge is amazing to me; it is more than I can understand. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

May I continue to be used to speak God's word always before others. May I continue to show others the heart of God. May I always be an example of living in relationship with my Abba, my Heavenly Father. Do you know my Jesus?